Puke.

17. New fucking Zealand.
Child of childs.
Goldfish pilot. Completely lost in insanity.

A Choice of Three

onthecuspoftryingtokissyou:

In the tunnel, I noticed I had a choice of three.

While I thought it very kind of them to offer me this, I do wonder if they realise what a dilemma they were sending to face me. The trouble was if I looked at your reflection in the left window I missed the actual image of you and your reflection in the right. And if I looked at the right I had the same problem but the other way around. At first I thought I should probably settle on one of the mirrors as they were soon to disappear, but that idea quickly wilted and my attention was drawn back to the center, occasionally checking on either side.

I must say I did question the authenticity of your nap a few minutes before. As the train left Loughborough I suspected it could have been a device to avoid conversation. I’d barely considered this for a moment, however, when a heavy breath and a gulping sound that I decided would be too embarrassing to fake led me to conclude that your nap wasn’t fraudulent. I found it difficult to concentrate on anything else as you slumped beneath your coat.

Delighted that we’d waited until this hour to travel so the evening sun got its opportunity to skip across those sleeping cheeks, but unnerved by the prospect of being removed from the opposing chair to yours. I knew it was reserved, but hoped that whoever had reserved it had fallen over. It looked as if today I’d be safe; the train wasn’t too busy, but I did take a moment to recall a time when I was less fortunate. I remembered it with a chilling vividity we were on the way to Brighton. I knew it was going to be his seat as soon as I saw him on the platform unzipping, checking, zipping, and re-checking things.

Something about his face suggested that he had for years had a moustache and had not long since removed it. He wasn’t going to think twice about disposing of me, especially considering then he’d get the chance to sit with you.Though his hiking boot-march through the carriage was rather revolting, it wasn’t this that made my hands tense up into sour claws of nausea. It was the way he said it.

"You’re in my seat."

No “excuse me,” no polite uncertainty, just the rigid, hideous fact. The thud with which it landed expelled all my preparation. Before I remembered my plans to pretend to be asleep, deaf, French, or only sat there because someone else was in my seat, I was walking to find another vacancy.

I ended up dwelling unhappily beside a girl with a boys bum. I knew that because she walked too far past when she returned to one of what I thought to be two empty seats when I sat myself there. I fidgeted until our reunion on the platform, where you brutally informed me “That man was really rather pleasant, actually.”

Today I thought I’d better make sure that couldn’t happen again and I pulled the ticket from the top of my seat. It took a few attempts and the facade of hanging a jacket to finally complete. I was terribly cautious. There’s a threat of punishment for such deeds by fine as far as I understand, but those shackles were at the back of my mind as I crushed the reservation in my hidden fist. Folding and squeezing as if it were that beast on the way to the seaside.

Fortunately, there was no retribution. If anything the train got quieter as the journey continued.

And so in the tunnel, unable to decide, my head flicked through this trilogy of angles, angel after angle, until we were out the other side.

My frantic twitching no doubt caused the man at the adjacent table to narrow his eyes at the very least, I imagine.

I don’t know for sure.

I didn’t have time to add him to the cycle.

(via sundown-syndromez)

carriehopefletcher:

thebobblehat:

thefoodispeople:

dottewa:

a-void-reality:

GO WATCH THIS SHOW, HONESTLY IT IS SO AMAZING. 

IF THIS POST CREATES 1 NEW PUSHING DAISIES FAN MY LIFE = MADE. 

Alright let me help out then:

1) Most of the cast is female. In fact only two main characters are male.

2) Both male characters take typically non-masculine hobbies. Emerson Cod knits almost non-stop and makes pop-up books. Ned is literally called “The Pie-Maker” because he bakes homestyle pies from his mother’s method. Both are shown to be very nurturing and even maternal characters. Conversely, the women? A pair of professional travelling show performers that have gritty sexual scandals the way men usually get (see the entire “Chuck’s father” storylines), a beekeeper who is the single most positive and optimistic character imaginable, and a former professional jockey- Three of four pro athletes.

3) You could very easily make the claim Ned is asexual.

4) Yes, the storyline is about romance. But it’s also about the positive side of a love story, and their only drama lies in overcoming their inability to actually share contact.

5) A very good friend of mine recommended this show to me as “Disney for adults.” I told her it was already on my list to watch because “It’s by Bryan Fuller, from Wonderfalls and Dead Like Me.” Bryan Fuller is now most known for “Hannibal.” The same camera methods and bright colours and lighting techniques Hannibal is known for? Perfected in this show, just using a different tone- The same colour methods in reverse, upping the vivid greens and yellows instead of reds and blues, which sells emotion both ways.

7) Probably one of the best examples of a modern day fairy tale possible.

8) Narrated by Jim Dale- The narrator for the HP audio books.

I don’t know if anyone’s already added links to this, but all of these here work and if you hover over the links, an episode description shows :)

Season 1:

  1. Pie-Lette
  2. Dummy
  3. The Fun in Funeral
  4. Pigeon
  5. Girth
  6. Bitches
  7. Smell of Success
  8. Bitter Sweets
  9. Corpsicle

Season 2:

  1. Bzzzzzzzzz!
  2. Circus Circus
  3. Bad Habits
  4. Frescorts
  5. Dim Sum Lose Some
  6. Oh Oh Oh… It’s Magic
  7. Robbing Hood
  8. Comfort Food
  9. The Legend of Merle McQuoddy
  10. The Norwegians
  11. Window Dressed to Kill
  12. Water & Power
  13. Kerplunk

May I just say, before I saw this gifset explaining the show, I just thought that PD was about a really adorable germ-a-phobe.

Pushing Daisies is one of my all time favourite shows. Gutted it only had two season but those two seasons are PHENOMENAL! 

(via twitchyteleporter)

tainted-petals:

tumblethesenotes:

yeevil:

snowystarfleet:

queeraoke:

candiedmoon:

hellyeacreepyshit:

raltar:

A strange phenomena is happening in some Russian forests. People are finding strange, deep holes.

They appear in the dense forest, in the places you can’t reach in a car or truck to bring any equipment to drill the ground. There is no soil nearby that could have been taken from such deep hole.

When people are brave enough to venture into the holes, they find that they end abruptly in the darkness. There are no reasonable ideas on how these holes appear and what they are being used for. No one knows who or what is digging these holes or why.

They’re coming.

READ THIS

OH FUCK

reblogging for that comic

Well sleep was good won’t be needing that anymore

No seriously go read that comic, I’ve always adored it and it’s perfect and creepy and beautiful art

(via twitchyteleporter)

Quadro by Theme Static